Warning... this might be a sad post to some.. so if you don't want to feel a little depressed.. return when I have a new posting. Been fighting all day if I want to share it... but since this is who I am.. might as well.
--------------------------------
20 years ago in Germany, my brother, a graduating high school senior, came to pick me up from my second grade class. He reminded me in the car how sick dad was because he and mom had to go to a hospital in the States. He then had to tell me how dad is no longer with us.... Soon after, we flew to Cali for the funeral, or what I would call my first and last 'Family Reunion'. I met people who I would never have thought would shape the next 15 years of my life... most importantly, my Aunt Helen. My mother, unsure of what to do now, was told by Helen "everything will be OK... You and the Boys are going to come to Grambling. Dennis will enroll in college and Frank, the laboratory school on campus.. and then you'll go to school when ready."
So, we did.. and after 15 years, Dennis, a CRNA and I, a new IBMer, were able to reflect on our lives and honestly agree that things could have been much worse... if we didn't have such a strong family backbone... Helen. If we had gone directly to SoCal... well, I hate to say, I might not be writing this blog right now (yeah, I know, that sucks!)
Before my father's passing... I was just a kid... I remember getting into trouble and going to the principals office, and having a couple awards for good grades. I don't recall being outstanding in anything.. other then 4-Squares. Well, when I started at AJB Elementary, the person you know today was actually born (that's why I look 20!). I had to step up early and be a MAN, like responsibilities around the house and had to finish my homework before I could go out and play =) My brother was doing the college life (you know, get away from house as much as possible) I went everywhere with my mother, because I, ironically named after my father, was all my mother had left of dad. I attended hospice/counseling and heard stories of others' pain. Over time, I'd sit in the back seat of the car, hearing my mother and her friends complain and male bash (don't worry, few years after my father... life goes on, ya know). I soaked in so much at an early age, observing as much as I can, learning from others mistakes, what people like, don't like, what annoys them. It was a great opportunity... until I got older and noticed I think too damn much! (but that's another story).
Anyway... eventually I got to an age where my brother and I could hang out. I think it started with basketball in the back yard because I was 'big enough' to play and actually dominate him from behind the arch (this one spot far back by a tree). This is the point in my life where he started to criticize me for things I'd say, that kids would say. I remember he got on me for using slang and calling him stupid... as in basically being immature. Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what he was doing and who I was being molded into. Most def a professional young adult... still in middle school. This is also around the time in my life where he asked me to be his Best Man... well, I don't know if he really asked me.. but I do know.. I still owe him a bachelors party! (I was 13, lol). Anyway, he had kids and I became Uncle Frank and watched and learned a lot from him. Not sure I said Thank You enough times... so if you ended up seeing this... Thanks Yo! (yep, slang).
Wow, I just looked back and realized how long this is... I didn't mean to make it that long, or what was really my point in all this.. so maybe I'll continue another year, lol.. But to quickly sum it up... I'll close with a quote I came across yesterday.. 'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.' At an early age, I experienced something pretty traumatic, and in the end, was able to make the best of it by not making any excuses. I may not have honored my father's wishes of one day operating a fighting military helicopter, slinging my hair back as I put on my helmet... but at least I slicked my hair back later on in life for half a year. I know he's looking down on me smiling, proud of what I have accomplished and continuing to with his name. Even though I don't really say it enough... truly, I love you Dad.
It was so nice to read this today. Brought back lots of memories. I remember most of the things you talk about rather vividly. Can you imagine life had we stayed in SoCal? Selfish, hateful and dependent. I can see us morbidly obese, unmotivated, sitting on a couch, fighting over the Poptarts and the TV remote (thats with mom too, btw).
ReplyDeleteMoving to Grambling not only allowed us to deal with everything that happened in a peaceful environment, but also exposed us to an unconditional love from family and people that we didn't even know. Remember the Billups? I think they fancied us as their own kids that just happen to live across the street. Many others I'm sure did too. For me, I couldn't figure out why they were doing this. Why would they care? You know what the circumstances were, Frank, and how we could of been perceived by them. They loved us unconditionally. Our last names were Richards, that's all that mattered. They taught us the importance of hard work and education. They lead by example. Remember how they used to say, "you're a Richards, of course you're gonna..." They believed in us, I think, before we believed in ourselves. Our Grambling era was a great time.
I never thought about you being around all those support meetings until I read this blog. I guess I assumed you played with your Ninja Turtles the whole time and didn't pay attention. Interesting reading your observations. Sorry for not being around more. Between Lincoln General every weekend, school and "stuff" during week, there wasn't much time. I remember playing basketball in the backyard, Sega (I think I owe you like $4000) and riding bikes occasionally around town (raspberry ice!!!). Thanks for waking me up after I set the backyard on fire too. Thank also for working so hard scholastically and taking advantage of all the opportunities that were around you. I never remember you playing the "victim" role. Never to this day. I've always admired your work ethic. I remeber you getting up before the crack of dawn to go to Kroger on weekends. I'd say that work ethic has served you well. You also always seemed to surround yourself with "good kids" as friends. A practice that continues to this day, based on the friends of yours I've met.
Sorry to "jack" your blog. I got a little carried away. Let me just say that I'm so proud of you for the man you are. You have evolved so much, particularly lately, it's truly exciting for me to find out what you're up to and what's on your mind. Your father is quite proud of you too, I'm sure. Even if you're not flying helicopters, with long, swooping hair. Talk to you soon.
Thanks Dennis! As I look back, I forgot how I wanted to say you were mos def the father figure in my life. When someone asks, that's what I say. Good times! LOL at the backyard on fire. Forgot about that =)
ReplyDelete